Me and My Emmy: Jon Cryer

Primetime Emmy Tally: One

How He Got the Gold: Outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series, 2009, for his role as Alan Harper on CBS's Two and a Half Men.

Now for the Noms: Five additional nominations in the same category for the same role, 2006–08 and 2010–11.

Figures of Speech: "I used to think that awards were shallow tokens of momentary popularity…. but now I realize they are the only true measure of a person's real worth as a human being."

Smack Down: "It has given meaning to the literally hundreds of crotch hits, face plants and door smacks that I have taken on Two and a Half Men."

Couples Therapy: "My Emmy and I have a deeply unhealthy, complicated, codependent relationship. She mocks my insecurities and brandishes her golden electron ball–thing in my general direction. Me, I'm just grateful for the attention from a beautiful woman with fantastic posture and lightning bolts for wings."

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This article originally appeared in emmy magazine, Issue No. 3, 2012